Many of us find it fairly easy to set physical boundaries for themselves, but what about keeping good emotional and mental/cognitive boundaries for themselves? Having healthy emotional and mental boundaries can help you manage your emotions when you sense them spinning out of control. You might find yourself dealing with resentment, bitterness or feeling hurt or misunderstood by someone. So how can you control those stubborn relentless emotions when they are wreaking havoc in your life? Using your awareness and mindfulness to define the root cause of these emotions is the first step. Most of the time these emotions show up and we allow them to set up residence in our hearts and we walk around in life feeling miserable. Try using the Think, Feel, Behavior process or TFB. Being more aware of your thoughts that lead to your feelings, and then trigger your behavior can help you start taking better control of your emotional results. This process can help you have healthier boundaries mentally and emotionally which gives you a healthier balance of emotional living.

Here is an example. Stuart is having a difficult time in life because he constantly finds himself feeling resentment and bitterness towards others. Stuart needs to discern what these thoughts are specifically about and where they are coming from in order to get to the root of his problem. Once he discovers why he is bitter and resentful he can start the process of healing and having healthier emotional/mental boundaries in his life. Forgiveness is usually a key element in this process. Without a forgiving heart you will likely find yourself caught in a trap which is bittersweet. Sometimes we need to forgive the one we are feeling this way towards because it is what is best for you, not because they deserve to be forgiven. This is how we take better care of ourselves when emotions control our lives in negative ways. The toxic results are quite damaging in the long run to your overall mental and emotional well being.

Remember this verse next time your find yourself caught in a unhealthy train of thought: Colossians 3:12,13 Therefore as believers, be tender, kind, humble meek, long suffering and forgiving of each other. Just as Christ forgave you, so also must you forgive.