If you have a teenager or preteen, you more than likely already have seen characteristics such as being stubborn, defiant and the attitude of, “I am going to do what I want to do.”  This is not always the definition of disrespect towards parents, but their own individuation coming to fruition. It can be a difficult act to balance as a parent when your teen is trying to discover themselves and who they are in this world, and at the same time you are trying your best to guide them down the right path. It is vitally important that they do discover who they are before they leave your home because the more confidence they have concerning their significance and who they are, the more stable they are mentally and emotionally. Self discovery requires “A lot” of failure in a teen’s life. When a teen feels there is no room for failure because the cost is too great, they are paralyzed by fear and won’t take chances. This stifles their personal growth. Parents should expect failure and offer grace, and challenge their kids to challenge themselves in order to grow and mature with diversity in their life. I am not saying there should not be boundaries or consequences from certain behavior however, to strict parenting will cause a child to possibly shut down and stop taking chances to grow in healthy ways. When a child knows and senses the freedom to express themselves and take chances their individuation increases. This leads to knowing who they are and who they are not in their life which is one of the greatest gifts you can give them. Challenge yourself as a parent to allow you child to pursue self discovery everyday and you will see them grow in healthy way over the course of their years at home.